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He's bad, he's bad...

The Os Man doesn’t remember things being like this in 1982. We’re not just talking the internet, the whole immediate-gratification mentality, or even the fact that Michael Jackson still looked like something resembling homo sapiens. Rather, the guarded optimism/undercurrent of cynicism reflected in a recent pair of Paddy Power proposition bets shows just how undependable our pop heroes are today perceived.

On March 3, the man they call “Jacko” in the UK announced he’d be playing ten concerts in London’s O2 Arena this July. Fans attending a personally-given press conference a few days later dutifully screamed as Jackson himself confirmed the information.

In response, Paddy Power naturally launched a new prop bet for the shows, and the new specialty prop offers punters the opportunity to lay money on “How many O2 concerts will Michael Jackson cancel?” The table looks like so:

One to three: 2/1
None: 9/4
Four to six: 3/1
Seven to nine: 4/1
All: 5/1

Seriously, isn’t it wrong that, with that 3/1 indicator, quite a few bettin’ men are going to be reckoning that a perfectly physically fit (Mostly. Probably. Maybe.) guy will cancel half his “farewell” concert run in a snit? Would anyone have been thinking along these lines at all in a pre-Guns ‘n’ Roses world?

Paddy Power has also opened lines for The Thriller’s opening act. In “Who will support Jacko?” the opening “favorites” include:

The Saturdays: 7/1
Lady GaGa: 8/1
Janet Jackson: 8/1
The Script: 8/1
Sugababes: 10/1
The Ting Tings: 10/1
Katy Perry: 10/1
Duffy: 10/1
Eoghan Quigg: 12/1
Ne-Yo: 12/1
Alexandra Burke: 12/1
Pussycat Dolls: 14/1
Whitney Houston: 16/1

…whereupon things get progressively sillier until nearing the bottom of the table:

Pink: 40/1
Blur: 40/1
Take That: 50/1
LaToya Jackson: 50/1
Justin Timberlake: 66/1
Britney Spears: 80/1
Spice Girls: 80/1
Christina Aguilera: 80/1
Oasis: 100/1
Mariah Carey: 100/1
Madonna: 100/1
Lisa Marie Presley: 150/1

The Os Man’s calls? On cancelled shows, three would really have to be the maximum, wouldn’t it? Zero cancels isn’t impossible; everyone’s human, right? (Bad example.) As for the opening band, the advice would be to at least wait for some solid rumours, because right now the Os Man would definitely stake “Other” here if offered.

Finally, an un-prop, i.e. a natural stake-inspiration that hasn’t happened yet. Since we’re already on the cynical path, how something on these actually not being Jackson’s last shows? Sad Captain Eo in the Guardian:

“I just want to say, these will be my final show performances in London. This will be it, when I say this is it I really mean this is it. I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear, this is it, I mean this is the final curtain call, OK?”

So figure the comeback for, what, 2013?