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In the opinion of Live Bets Direct, you just can’t have enough beauty contest proposition bets. Not only do such contests of professional pulchritude allow the red-blooded male a more socially-acceptable excuse to partake in, um, online research involving bathing-geared beauties, but this website has managed a 3-0 record since 2008 in playing international pageants.

Though the Miss World 2009 competition won’t be settled in Johannesburg, South Africa, until December 12, bookmakers have naturally released early odds on the contestants’ chances for victory. Unlike the recent Miss Universe 2008 contest, which featured a wide-open field with no individual getting better than a 10/1 chance to win the crown (eventually bestowed upon Miss Venezuela, Stefania Fernandez, a 20/1 shot), Miss World 2009 can be definitively split into haves and have-nots.

At Bet 365 online bookmakers, that top tier looks like the following. Figures in parentheses at right represent the ever-popular “each way” betting – get your minds out of the gutter; it’s a wager that your selection will finish among the top three in the contest.

Puerto Rico: 5/4 (1/4)
Mexico: 4/1 (4/5)
South Africa: 6/1 (6/5)
France: 9/1 (9/5)
Belgium: 12/1 (12/5)

And the bottleneck after the top five goes like so.

The favorite: Miss Puerto Rico

USA: 20/1 (4/1)
Brazil, Dominican Republic, India: 22/1 (22/5)
Aruba, Croatia, Ukraine, Venezuela: 25/1 (5/1)
Italy, Malaysia, New Zealand, Norway, Panama: 28/1 (28/5)
Barbados, Belarus, Ireland, Philippines: 33/1 (33/5)
England, Indonesia, Jamaica, Netherlands, Slovakia: 35/1 (7/1)
Costa Rica, Israel, Russia: 40/1 (8/1)
Hungary, Malta, Mauritius, Vietnam: 45/1 (9/1)
Albania, China, Turkey: 50/1 (10/1)
Iceland, Poland: 55/1 (11/1)
Bolivia, Colombia, Egypt, FYR Macedonia, Serbia, Sierra Leone: 60/1 (12/1)
Austria, Bulgaria, Ecuador, Hong Kong, Kazakhstan, Romania, Thailand: 66/1 (66/5)
Argentina, Finland, Germany: 75/1 (15/1)
Australia, Czech Republic, Guatemala, Martinique, Peru, Sri Lanka: 80/1 (16/1)
Belize, Canada, Denmark, El Salvador, Ethiopia, Greece, Guyana, Honduras, Korea, Lebanon, Lithuania, Moldova, Montenegro, Northern Ireland, Paraguay, Singapore, Slovenia, Sweden, Tahiti, Uruguay: 100/1
Angola, Bahamas, Botswana, Cyprus, Georgia, Kenya, Latvia, Nigeria, Scotland, Tanzania, Trinidad & Tobago, Wales: 125/1 (25/1)
Bosnia & Herzegovina, Curacao, Ghana, Gibraltar, Ivory Coast, Luxembourg: 150/1 (30/1)
Guadeloupe, Japan, Uganda: 175/1 (35/1)
Liberia, Mongolia, Nepal, Suriname, Swaziland, Zambia, Zimbabwe: 200/1 (40/1)

So how to play this one? Unfortunately, given this table, we’ll be taking a bit of a conservative tack on this one. Hitting up the virtual ATM for 100 theoretical dollars, that’ll be spread around Bet 365 as follows.

The favorites
Perla Judith Beltrán Acosta, Miss Mexico. Back when Miss Mexico Universe 2009 Karla Maria Carrillo was named the favorite to take that competition, Live Bets Direct wisely advised *not* betting on Mexico; after all, went the reasoning. “I’m not even certain she’s the best choice in Mexico. Check out the photo below, with Miss Mexico Universe side by side with Miss Mexico World. Well, what you think?” We’re rerunning the photo, and I’ll be going with Acosta to win in South Africa. The recommendation: $20 on Miss Mexico to win outright and $10 on each-way betting.

Miss Mexicos: Gonzalez (L) and Acosta

Jennifer Colon Alvarado, Miss Puerto Rico. Dueling criticisms fight the case for and against Miss Alvarado. On the minus side, the bookmakers’ favorite has for years been denied the win at the major international contests; on the plus side, come on, Puerto Rico is favored over the nearest rival by a factor of more than three. A professional model for years already, this 21-year-old’s also got the poise. Check out this video and tell me Jennifer doesn’t want to win this thing.

The recommendation: Don’t be so conservative! Miss Puerto Rico’s not going to win; she’ll probably finish in the top three, but at 1/4 odds is only very marginally worth betting action.

Also looking good
Tatum Lucy Keshwar, Miss South Africa. Will there be any home-cooking among the judges in Miss World 2009? No matter, Miss South Africa may not even need it. This 25-year-old is a pro at pageantry, having placed seventh for her country the Miss Universe 2009 contest. And gown designer Kluk CGDT even has a strategy in mind specifically for their 181-cm tall contestant: “For the finale at Gallagher Estate, Kluk CGDT has designed an ethereal and otherworldly gown especially for Tatum. ‘It will look as if she is walking on a cloud. We also took into account her wonderful height and deportment, and the dress will make her stand out from the crowd making her the only choice for Miss World,’ [said artistic director Malcolm Kluk].”

Zeynep Sever, Miss Belgium

Zeynep Kübra Sever, Miss Belgium. Like Miss Keshwar, Zeynep also participated in Miss Universe 2009; Miss Belgium finished in the top 15 in that competition. In the meantime, she can only have gained in reputation among the judges (and sport-loving populace) thanks to her relationship with Fenerbahce SK goalkeeper Volkan Demirel. As far as aesthetics go, whoa. Zeynep is a glamorous young woman of Turkish descent who moved to Belgium at age 12; how about voting for a unified Europe, Miss World panel? The recommendation: $10 on Miss Belgium to win outright and $10 on each-way betting.

Chloe Mortaud, Miss France

Chloe Mortaud, Miss France. Yet another double threat, Chloe was the highest Miss Universe 2009 finisher in the Miss World competition this time out with a sixth-place finish to her credit. And another exotic lady is Miss France, too, with dual citizenship/parentage in La Republique and the U.S.

As for France itself, officials there are certainly blitheringly happy Miss Mortaud has conducted herself in a non-inappropriate manner, as opposed to previous Miss France, the wonderfully vaguely blasphemous Valerie Begue. The recommendation: $15 on Miss France to win outright and $10 on each-way betting.

A few longshots
Adi Rodnitzky, Miss Israel. If the British Isles can get all gaga over Miss England Katrina Hodge, a.k.a. “Combat Barbie,” Live Bets Direct puts forth for your consideration Miss Israel, 19 years old, a soldier, talented and not really what you’d expect when thinking “military.” The recommendation: $2.50 on Miss Israel in each-way betting.

Thanuja Ananthan, Miss Malaysia. With so many of the favorites from Europe and the Americas, surely some Asian or African prospect must be covered. We’ll go with Miss Malaysia here, an attractive and appealing law student who envisions herself working in human rights. The recommendation: $2.50 on Miss Malaysia in each-way betting.