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With less than two months to go before the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest final in Moscow, the bets are already flying for what must be the most parlayed-upon musical event of the year. Bigger than any one country’s “Idol” television program, increasingly more relevant than the UK’s Christmas No. 1 song, proposition betting on the 42-nation contest will surely break records again this year.

As for the outcome, bookmakers have this one all but wrapped up already. Alexander Rybak of Norway will soon be joining the illustrious ranks of Celine Dion, Lulu and ABBA as winning performer, in the opinions of Betfred (where Rybak is a 7/4 favorite) and Paddy Power (2/1).

In the interests of informing the prop bet punter (and, ahem, supplementing the MP4 player a bit for those long stretches at Live Bets Direct headquarters), the Os Man will be reviewing the Euro contest entries, longshots or no.

Taking a look at the top of the table at Rybak’s “Fairy Tale” produces a reaction of “Whoa.” Evident from his performance against the Norwegian competition he utterly smoked in the popular vote are the gobs of talent this singer/songwriter/violinist greedily possesses. Damn, Rybak is good and that’s right, he’ll be turning just 23 while the final competition goes down in mid-May.

Plus, damn if “Fairy Tale” isn’t catchy as all get out, particularly with its standard love song lyrics lustily delivered by Rybak. And the violin? Possibly the baddest ass in pop music since Charlie Daniels waxed lyrical about Mephistopheles. It’ll be fucking difficult to take out Norway in this one.

If anyone can take out Rybak and Norway, the Os Man is thinking the main competition comes from a pair of amazing ladies from Sweden and Turkey.

Descending from the north is Malena Ernman with the Swedish entry, “La Voix.” Her 12/1 odds at Betfred incredibly make her the third-favorite over there, while the Paddies have her further down the table at 16/1.

Just how much judges figure in difficulty level will certainly be relevant to this entry. “La Voix” is a bilingual song which alternately requires throaty English crooning a la Eartha Kitt followed by a near-operatic range with lyrics in French. Combined with her, um, unique look and presentation, Ernman could easily put Sweden in the top four and might just steal this thing from the Norwegian stud. “La Voix,” indeed…

Also blessed with an incredible set of pipage is Turkey’s Hadise (née Hadise Açıkgöz). Her Sharika-esque number Dum Tek Tek is every bit as crazily infectious as “Fairy Tale” and is spiced nicily Turkish. Those who don’t fall submissively in love with Hadise’s powerful voice are sure to fall in lust with this sex bomb, whether she performs in bare midriff and jeans or the marvelous slinky tiny one-piece she wore in the Turkey final.

What might hold back a longshot win (10/1 against says Paddy Power, 12/1 counters Betfred) from Hadise? In the Os Man’s opinion? The performance? Yes, she’s sexy to kill for. Yes, she sings letter-perfect. But honey, how about a little emotion? I mean, you’d get killed on “American Idol” for being this stiff.

Then there’s Greece, represented by Sakis Rouvas’ performance of “This is our Night.” The only thing more inexplicable than this dude winning his national competition with his song (who the hades was he up against, for Orpheus’ sake?) is his status as second-favorite with the bookmakers; Paddy Power has him at 4/1, Betfred at 11/2.

Um, what gives? This song is terrible generic dance trash, the “lyrics” are packed with stuff like

This is our night / Fly to the top, baby
Yes we can do it / Just wait and see
This is our night / Time for a change, baby
Get rid of the old / Take a hold and be free

and Rouvas may be one hunk of Mediterranean manliness, but he ain’t that great a singer. Don’t believe me? Right. Sit through the video below and then tell me you’ll put money down on Greece in 2009.

Finally, though they’ve been eliminated from consideration in the finals, Stephane & 3G of Georgia get props here for their “We Don’t Wanna Put In.” This one was deemed ineligible thanks to what judges deemed as political content in the song. Something about the title possibly referring to a certain Russian political figure … really? The disco funk lyrics seem pretty innocent, don’t they?

We don’t wanna put in /
Cuz negative move /
It’s killin’ the groove /
I’m gonna try to shoot in /
Some disco tonight /
Boogie with you

Besides, who cares about politics in pop, anyway? These guys surely deserve international exposure for their bold interpretation on 70s disco. Whether this group is going solely on what sports columnist Bill Simmons calls unintentional comedy or not, the hilarity in this is amazing. Thank god for YouTube.