Your one-stop shop for novelty betting

So which of these is more inevitable: The huge Hollywood biopic on Michael Jackson probably already the subject of dozens of pre-pre-pre-production meetings or Paddy Power bookmakers offering a cheeky novelty bet on the subject?

“In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.”

It is, after all, the order of things. An event, manmade or otherwise, goes down in Ireland or the U.K., the result of which is unknown and therefore fodder for gambling. Paddy Power instantly makes said event “more interesting” with a clever and well-promoted prop bet.

As for the proposition bet itself, it’s entitled “Which lake will the ladies dip in?” and inspired by, as the Paddy puts it, the decision to relocate from initial choice Rosses Point “because of the threat of peeping Toms!” Explains Action Breast Cancer PR: “The exact location of the dip will be confirmed to participants the night before by text to maintain mystery and try to ensure privacy.”

With Richard Branson of Virgin (oh, the irony) the rumored buyer of any titillating Playboy assets Hefner might be ejecting, Paddy Power reckons the new owner could take a Brit-centric approach to publication – heck, they’re willing to bet on it!

The story cut into this month’s cinema newswires like Max Cady on crack: Music and movie fans (not to mention musical movie fans) were certainly stoked to hear that Universal Studios had acquired the rights to shoot a biographical movie on Ratpacker and Ronny Reagan buddy Frank Sinatra; better yet, studio moguls announced that Martin Scorsese was tabbed as director for the flick.

How about a little currency speculation? No, no high-tech software solutions, nor financial expertise, are necessary to play this game, and the variables are in fact reduced to one. We’re talking another wacky Paddy Power novelty bet here, namely “AUD versus the EUR on 31st December 2009?”

Congratulations, Alexander Rybak and Norway for taking the 2009 edition of the Eurovision Song Contest convincingly in completing the “Fairy Tale.” Kudos also go out to the surprising Yohanna of Iceland, who, we learn upon release of the full Eurovision results, not only placed second overall but also took the first semifinal over powerhouse Hadise of Turkey.

So here’s the Os Man’s strategy on this one (or, to put it another way, give me another chance please): $10 on each of the aforementioned picks – Norway (8/33), Greece (11/6), Turkey (10/3), Azerbaijan (10/3), UK (4/1), and Malta (40/3) ensures a win if Greece or Norway finishes in the top three along with one of the other four. If $35 goes down on Greece and $10 on the others, you’re guaranteed a profit if Greece comes in; another other winner on your trifecta ticket is gravy.

With less than a week to go before the Eurovision Song Contest kicks off (round one goes down Tuesday, May 12), Germany has received big news – huge news, albeit in a small, wasp-waisted package: Sex bomb/burlesque artiste Dita von Teese will likely be appearing along with Alex Christensen in his performance of “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang” in Moscow.